Friday, December 28, 2007

I Am Legend turns date night into fright night

Last night, date night, was supposed to be a relaxing, toddler free, fun evening. Instead date night turned in to fright night when we purchased 2 tickets, popcorn and drinks to go see Will Smith in I Am Legend. Very Scary! I walked out half way through. I just couldn't take it. My husband joined me a few minutes later. Oh well, maybe next time.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Easiest Dessert You'll Ever Make!

2 packs of your favorite chocolate chip cookies
2 tubs Cool Whip

Dip each cookie into milk
Alternate layers of cookies and Cool Whip
Finish with layer of Cool Whip

Doesn't sound like much, but tastes surprisingly yummy!!

Saturday, December 22, 2007


One of the fun things about being with family over the holidays are all of the fun games. Like hoss-n-feffer, Scene It and the new Are you smarter than a 5th grader dvd. We've also discovered a fun game called: Fact or Crap. Of course I've already mastered these and reign as champion - or at least better than my brother-in-law, David.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry and the two Ho's

So my dad is trying to get my toddler to say,"Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas", and all my son can get out is "Ho...Christmas". My dad then turns to him and says, "You're short a couple of Ho's and a Merry". That just doesn't sound right.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Falling Apart

This is the year I feel as if I'm falling apart. I'll be 36 the end of the month, and I've had more irritating health issues this year than at other times in my life. My husband said his year for "falling apart" was when he turned 30. I remember that year for him. It was a physical and emotional struggle. Of course, I have truly nothing to complain about in that my struggles have not been life or death. But, if I can make it through the holidays to number 36, I hope next year will be better health wise.

Monday, December 17, 2007


Why do men/husbands hold their wives purses like they've been asked to run into the drugstore to buy a big box of kotex? They try and hide it under a coat or at least they would never consider carrying it by the straps. I don't get it. Do men tease each other about these things?


Saturday, December 15, 2007


It's not enough that the little dog we're keeping for my sis' licks my toddler on the face, I just don't understand why he has to lick her back!! UGH! :(

Sunday, December 9, 2007

What is Christmas?

What is Christmas without bows and bells,
What is Christmas without parking lots and malls,
What is Christmas without gifts and sweets,
What is Christmas without patent leather and stocking feet?

It's sharing something worth more than any gift a tree can hold,
Offering peace and life to an empty world.
Being salt and light for everyone around us
This is the true meaning of Christmas!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Is it a sin to use the men's restroom at church if...'re not one?!! Yikes! It happened to me today. I left my pew during the invitation to run to the little girls room. I went in to the empty room and took care of my personal business. Just before leaving the stall I heard the door open and another "lady" walk in. I opened the stall door, headed for the sink, and in the mirror saw a reflection of a man, whose back was facing me, in a green shirt standing at a urinal - that up till then had gone unnoticed by me. I WAS IN THE MEN'S ROOM!!!!!! I bolted back into the stall, held my breath and waited for him to leave. I prayed he wouldn't look under the door to see my pointed toe, shiny heels. Did he see me? I do not know, but Jesus did!

I'm sorry Lord!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

To much Take Out?

My sister and I pulled up to a local pharmacy drive thru to pick up a prescription. When the pharmacist came to the window and asked "Can I help you?" a little voice coming from the backseat of my car said, "Fry fry, boc boc, pease." Translation: My 2 year old was ordering french fries and chicken nuggets -please!. At least he was polite.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Messy Messy Messy

How is it my little home can go from clean to "do squatters live here?" in less than 24 hours flat? Wait....I know how! I have a toddler!!!!

Friday, November 16, 2007


"Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary" by Louisa May Alcott

There is nothing more relaxing than sitting on a comfy couch, enjoying a cup of hot tea, and chatting with a dear friend. Except for maybe a hot bath without toddler or hubbie interruptions. :)

Friday, October 26, 2007

He eats!

Nothing warms a mama's heart more than watching her finicky 2 year old son eat 3 bowls of spaghetti!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Back to it

A month away from exercising sure makes it difficult to start back. Yuck! :(

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Are Diamonds Really Forever?

They are when you buy them on credit. ;)

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Art of Abundance

I love the book The Art of Abundance by Candy Paull. She describes it has a simple guide to discovering life's treasures. Here are a few:

Abundance is.... a vegetable stand at harvest time.
Abundance is... a tender touch where it hurts.
Abundance is... starlight after a storm.
Abundance is... a bag of groceries.
Abundance is... the aroma of his aftershave.
Abundance is... a field of ripe corn.
Abundance is... having enough to share.
Abundance is... reading Peter Rabbit to a child.

One of my own:
Abundance is... my son saying, "thank you, mama".

Happiness is neither within us only, or without us; it is the union of ourselves with God. -Blaise Pascal

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Fantastic Fruit

Our pastor shared these thoughts today. He spoke about the church at Colossal and how their relationship with God was evident by the fruit produced in their lives.
Jesus was enough for them.
Not Jesus + the right worship style
Jesus + the right bible translation
Jesus + superior knowledge and insight.
Just Jesus. Because of their willingness to put focus completely on him, the following fruit was produced in their lives.

Complete faith (belief and trust) in Jesus Christ.
Love for God's people.

They had this fruit because of the hope they had in Christ. It seems so simple, but definitely not easy. How great it would it is to be known for your faith in Christ and love for his people.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Ode to my man on his birffday!

Happy Birffday to my man,
He will forever be my best fran,
Nest to his side I will always stan,
Happy Birffday to my man!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Bless the Little Ones

Bless the little ones when they don't feel good,
when they have fevers and are in a bad mood.

Bless the little ones when they stub their toes,
when their feelings get hurt and they bump their nose.

Bless the little ones whose wounds don't heal,
whose moms and dads are left with only heartache to feel.

Bless us all and remind us to share,
our feelings for those to whom we love the most and care.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

What's wrong with stretch marks?!

Ya' know, I just don't get it. As women we beat ourselves up over every aspect of our appearance. One of those being stretchmarks. Yes, I have stretchmarks. I had them before my child was born, and I have many more since. Some are from excess wight I put on pre pregnancy, but the most visible are those I got during my pregnancy. I just think we should consider "wearing" them as stripes of honor. Seeing them as a part of the beautiful process that brought us our most cherished blessings. I have a hard time loathing a part of me that produced such a beautiful gift. Any way... I don't think we should be so hard on ourselves. Let's strive to be healthy and celebrate the gifts God gives us so richly!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Things I love about Fall

Great Grandma's homemade molasses cookies
Leaves crunching under my shoes
Mom's homemade apple strudel
Cool Fall nights
Apple spice candle flickering on the kitchen table
Alabama football
Stews and soups
Little ones searching for candy

Sunday, September 16, 2007

They do exist!

It's true. I saw a real live cowboy this weekend. He was tall, slender, probably in his 70's, and all decked out in authentic cowboy garb. His looks alone didn't qualify him for the real live cowboy label. While getting out of his car (when I retell this story again, I'll remember it as, "while dismounting his horse), at the local Walmart, the cowboy saw a disabled gentleman trying to work a Walmart scooter. He couldn't get it to work, so the cowboy rambled over to him and got his stag running again. They really do exist!

Friday, September 14, 2007

80 and wearing a cardigan

My 2 year old son is so used to taking medicine, he now asks for his "pill" every night before bedtime. He should be 80 years old and wearing a cardigan.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Wake Up and Dance

You know it's going to be a great day when your 2year old wakes up, stretches, and then begins to do a little jig!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The Church's Modern Battle

For Christians the modern battle of the church today doesn't seem to be reaching the world around us, but the style of worship we prefer. I have been guilty of this. Our pastor spoke on "Understanding Worship" this morning in church. He shared an interesting story about a church in London with a fantastic reputation for their awesome "worship" services. It tells of a church that lost their passion for true worship, how they got it back, and the touching song that emerged from the experience.

Pastor Mike Pilavachi, from London, tells the following story of a season in which his church wrestled with this very issue(worship):

"Since it began, Soul Survivor has always given plenty of time over to worshiping through music. Over the years, people have poured out their hearts to God through it, and there have been plenty of examples of great things happening as a result. However, there was a season when we realized that something was 'up' with our worship.

At first, it was difficult to put our finger on the problem. On the surface, everything was just fine: the musicians were tuning their instruments and the soundmen were getting out of bed on time. Each service contained a block of songs that focused on the cross and gave people the chance to get down to business with God. To make this easier, the music was (nearly) up-to-date, the chairs had disappeared and the lights were low - What better atmosphere for young people to worship God?

"Yet, we seemed to have lost the spark. We seemed to be going through the motions, but I noticed that although we were singing the songs, our hearts, were far from Him. Was it Matt Redman's fault? I listened. He wasn't singing any more off notes than usual. Then one day it clicked; we had become connoisseurs of worship instead of participants of it.
In our hearts, we were giving the worship team grades on a scale from one to ten: 'Not that song again,' 'I can't hear the bass,' 'I like the way she sings better.' We had made the band the performers of worship and ourselves the audience.

We had forgotten that we are ALL the performers of worship and that God is the audience. We had forgotten that sacrifice is central to biblical worship. We are called to offer our bodies as living sacrifices - this is OUR spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1). We are called to offer our sacrifice of praise (Heb. 13:15).

We were challenged to ask ourselves individually, 'When I come through the door of the church, what am I bringing as my contribution to worship?' The truth came to us: worship is not a spectator sport, it is not a product molded by the taste of the consumers. It is not about what we can get out of it; it is all about God.

We needed to take drastic action. For a while, in order to truly learn this lesson, we banned the band. We fired Redman!

Then we sat around in circles and said that if no one brought a sacrifice of praise, we would spend the meeting in silence. At the beginning we virtually did! It was a very painful process. We were learning again not to rely on the music.

After a while, we began to have some very sweet times of worship. We all began to bring our prayers, our readings, our prophecies, our thanksgiving, our praises and our songs. Someone would start a song a cappella and we would all join in. Then someone else would take it on to another song. The excitement came back. We were not having Church; we were once again meeting with God. With all the comforts stripped away, we worshiped from the heart.
When we had learned our lesson, we brought the band back. It was at this point that Matt began to sing the song he had written out of this experience. I wept as we sang it for the first time. The words expressed exactly what was going on."

When the music fades,
All is stripped away,
and I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring you more than a song
For a song in itself
is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear;
You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you,
All about you Jesus.
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve.
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours,
every single breath.

When I [Paul Martin] first heard this story, it nearly knocked the wind out of me! As a musician who had been very involved in worship training and recording for years, I regretfully realized that church had become more like a night out at the movies, an opportunity for me express my expertise, and to rank "how good it was."

If you are involved in worship at your church, I would humbly ask you to search for a balance between heart and sound. Yes, we are encouraged in scripture to "play skillfully" before the Lord. But this must always follow a heart that is yearning to bless Him.
Paul Martin is the Director of Soul Survivor-USA

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Lucky # 13

Most people consider the number 13 to be unlucky. And after you read this blog you may say this proves it, but I see something else.

We were celebrating anniversary #13 while at the beach with family and friends. As soon as we get there my child is grouchy and mean to the other children and adults.

Sept 2nd
2:30am - My son has fever of102.6 and vomits all over me 3 times.
9:30am - we take him to after hours clinic. He has an ear infection.

Sept 3rd
2:30am - He's having trouble breathing. Sounds like he's wheezing. We take him to the er. He has croup.

We leave the beach and head to my husband's parents home.

Sept. 4th
2:30am - He's gasping for air. Wheezing so bad I think he's going to stop breathing or pass out. We go back to er.

Current Price tag just for copays and prescriptions: $600.00

He's doing much better now. We are all exhausted including my inlaws, since they were up with us.

Unlucky 13, I think not. I say we are very fortunate for the following reasons:

My son was able to get medical care in 3 different locations. I know there are many children around the world who don't have the same luxury.

My husband and I were there together. I know many parents who do it alone.

My husband is employed and sooner or later the bills will be paid. I know there are many people without jobs and insurance.

So I say lucky #13!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Words to Wake up to...

I love to be greeted every morning by the sweet sound of my 2 year old saying, "Hi, Mama!"

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Mrs. Jiggle

Why is it that some people feel the need to share advice whether or not you've asked for it? I recently joined a local gym to step up my exercise program, and while working out the other day one such advice giver found me. The advice had nothing to do with my technique on the elliptical, or how fast I was walking on the tread mill. What it had to do with was my jiggling. Yes, I can hardly believe it myself. Look, I know I had a little extra movement going on because I still need to get some proper exercise gear, but for someone else to make the suggestion was mortifying. Anyway, you can just call me
Mrs. Jiggle.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Fat Hair

Why can't my hair get fat? It would be great if those extra calories went to plumping up my hair instead of my rear. :)

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Path Principle Part 2

Direction not hopes, dreams, or intentions determines destination. Why is it even though I desire one particular destination that I find my self on a path that leads somewhere else. I only get to live this moment once. I can dream and wish and pray for great health, financial freedom, a fabulous marriage, but its my actions that put me on a path to or away from those goals.

Sometimes I ask my self, Why aren't I in better shape, why don't I have financial freedom, it's because I didn't take action when I first noticed a problem.

Proverbs 27:12 The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

I didn't take refuge, I just kept going. I was naive. I didn't look at life as being linear and each day as being connected to another. I've said before, "I really should exercise and eat right". "I probably shouldn't buy this thing I don't need", but instead I kept going and my physical and financial health suffered for it. I don't want to wait until there are no good choices left.

I will learn to ask myself: In light of my past experiences and my future hopes and dreams what's the right and wise thing for me to do.

I will learn to pray: Heavenly Father, Help me to see trouble coming long before it gets here. Please give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


Why don't I crave broccoli?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My husband not come home last night

is what my sister heard in the elevator at the casino where we were staying in Vegas. A nervous woman, speaking broken english was trying to figure out what floor the casino was located, because according to her, "We checkin' out today and my husband not come home last night". I was trying to imagine what kind of things I would do to my husband had I spent the night alone in a Vegas hotel room because he not come home. I wondered if this man squandered away their savings, raked it in at the poker table, or spent the night in the arms of a Vegas Stripper. If it's true, Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I believe my exman would be stayin' in Vegas.

A penny saved... makes me miserable!

In my never ending attempt to save money I bought some generic body soap the other day. It was only a few cents cheaper per bar, but when you're tryin' to watch the moula...

Anyway, it's called Tone. Don't buy it. It's almost as bad as Ivory. I ended up throwing it all out and buying me favorite. So, I spent more money in...

the end.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Ode to my sister on her bday

Who can predict the weather with 76.52% accuracy?
Sister, Sister

Who dresses very fancifully?
Sister, Sister

Who loves to decorate her home in seventy's chic?
Sister, Sister

Who when they don't take a shower on vacation can make the back seat of our rental car reek?
Sister, Sister

Who can make the bestest oreo balls and chocolate mint brownies?
Sister, Sister

Who makes our morning bright and takes away our frownies?
Sister, Sister

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Vegas Baby!

So I took a recent trip to Vegas, my first time thankyouverymuch. It was quite an experience. My parents treated my sister, me and they grandbaby for a couple of days at Circus Circus. The grandbaby had a blast inside the adventure dome. As a matter of fact we stayed inside the entire first day at that indoor theme park. It was lots of fun. What I couldn't get over were the tons and tons of people there. That was a bit crazy.

Later in the week my sis treated us to a night at the Belagio. Now that was the place for the grownups to stay. Very nice.

I didn't gamble once on my trip, well... unless you consider the $70.00 per ticket on whether or not Lance Burton, the master magician, put on a great show.

I would like to go back. Maybe next time I'll try my luck at the black jack table.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Shower... Naaa

Why is it one of my family members, whose name I'm withholding to protect the innocent, fails to shower at least one or two days whenever he or she goes on vacation with me. It's not that I mind all that much what he or she does on their own time, but when you're in cramped quarters ie: car or airplane or restaurant booth, who wants to be next to Mr. or Mrs I don't want to take a shower today. I mean come on!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thought I was going to die!

Ok. I thought I was going to die while on vacation. I was taking a nap with my little one. My circulation was being cut off in my arm because my little darling was lying on it. I moved him off my arm and then turned over on my side. Here's where it gets interesting. I immediately felt this rush of movement from my toes up to the top of my head. It felt like someone was jumping on the bed. I was still groggy, but decided to call out for my sister. Unfortunately I was unable to open my eyes or speak. This completely freaked me out. I couldn't even move a finger. I thought to myself, "self this must be what it's like to be in a coma, or have a stroke". So I decided to say a prayer and just wait to wake up in heaven.

I did wake up a bit later without any of the symptoms I had earlier. Was I dreaming? No. I've found out since then I was experiencing sleep paralysis. Apparently many people suffer with this quite often. This has never happened to me till now. A search of the web yields much info about this weird phenomena. Many people experience strange symptoms but it's completely harmless.

Just thought I'd share.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

It was the debil!

Ice cream for breakfast?!!

Ok, yes I had ice cream for breakfast. But it wasn't my fault. I was attacked by the debil! I was on vacation and someone introduced me to this restaurant that served chocolate belguim waffles with ice cream, whipped topping, and chocolate syrup - for breakfast!

So I can't accept full responsibility for this one, other than to say...

the debil made me do it!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Signin' Off

Ok. It took just over a week for me to write everything I know. There's nothing left. I don't know how others do it, but I'm dry. So, I'm signin' off. It's been great. A pleasure to meet some of you and to already know others.

As Truman said, Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Good Night!

Alright, so maybe I won't completely sign off. I'll just take a sabbatical to collect my thoughts.

So I won't say goodbye, just - till I write again.


Lo retta

Sunday, August 5, 2007


I am grateful for...

my life
a loving God
a fabulous husband
an enthusiastic toddler
our little home
lunch dates with my man
staying home with my son
great parents and a crazy sister
lovely in-laws
and the opportunity to start every moment anew.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Movie line for the day

Is you is or is you ain't my constitency?

Friday, August 3, 2007

The White Devil

No, I am not a racist, but I know this fact to be true. The devil is white. I know it, because I recently threw him out of my house. Yes, kicked him to the curb, as well as everything that resembled and reminded me of him. Now I find myself longing for him, wishing I hadn't reacted so rashly. But he has brought me nothing but despair. So, I try to bury my desires with thoughts of a sweeter - I mean- better way of life.

My white devil.... sugar.

What's yours?

Thursday, August 2, 2007

I think I just threw out my hip!

Or at least that's what I recently overheard a senior citizen say when I lapped her while at the mall. Why am I the only person under 75 there? Where are all the other moms and their strollers? Are they at a secret location and I've been left off the guest list? Are they at a swanky fitness center and I can't afford the dues? (Is the Y considered swanky?) Sure the mall is air conditioned, opened early for walkers, and music is piped throughout, but have you ever tried to work up a sweat to: (singing) Cupid draw back your bow ow, and let your arrow go o, into my lovers heart for me eee. And don't get me started on the lady that comes in early to bake the chocolate chip cookies for the shop in the food court. That's just wrong.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Favorite Movie Lines

1a 1a 1a

Alright you to pixies out da door or too da winda


Call da po po

You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

Ma mama mama seys de alliagtor's so mean cause he gots all dem toofes and no toofbrush.

Our pets heads are falling off.

I've had the diarrhea since Easters.

I think I have the black lung.

She's ugly as sin, but a helluva good cook.

Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Not Fast Enough!

OK. I've been walking for at lest 5 days now and I'm not seein' the results. I'm mean, com'on, how long is it supposed to take to loose 1 and 1/2 persons? Ugh! You know what's really frustratin' is when your Spanx don't even make ya feel good. If I haven't lost 30 pounds by next week, I may just have to walk an extra lap or three every day.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Loretta vs. The Yeast Roll

My husband and I went out for dinner the other night at a well known chain restaurant. I have been struggling to get back on my good eating plan, and had ordered a meal I felt good about. Unfortunately, I did not remember that this particular restaurant served yeast rolls. When the server brought them to the table I had just taken a bite of salad and was unable to ask her to remove those dastardly rolls from my sight. They looked magnificent. All glistenin' with butter and steam rising up from the basket. They stared at me through the entire meal. Somehow I was able to resist the temptation that evening.

Loretta 1
Yeast Rolls 0

Sunday, July 29, 2007


Here's a sweet and sappy song I sang to my son when he was a newborn. (To the tune of "What Child is This").

Goodnight my son, sleep tight my son,
the moon is out, the stars have come,
Goodnight, goodnight, my little one,
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

Goodnight my love, don't cry my love,
The sun has gone, the day is done,
Goodnight, sleeptight my precious one,
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


The skinny girl trapped inside me never gets to do anything - or so she whines. The big girl that I am holds her down as best she can, but skinny girl's complaints are endless. Here are a few:

Things she never gets to eat:
Most vegetables
Turkey burgers
Protein bars
Bran cereal
Anything baked

Things she never gets to do:
Wear a 2 piece bathing suit
The jelly roll
See her feet
Sit ups

For now, big girl lets her up off the couch for daily walks and an occasional piece of fruit. Maybe it won't be too much longer before skinny girl escapes.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Win!

If there was an award for the most consistently inconsistent person ... I would win hands down. Why is it such a struggle to exercise?! I'm back on the wagon (treadmill) today, after having been thrown off and trampled. Yes, I have grass and dirt in my teeth, but I've never seen anyone on a treadmill smiling, so I guess I'm ok.

The Path Principle

In my heart I guess I've always believed even if I didn't reach a certain goal, it was ok because my intentions were good. I'm beginning to realize intentions without actions aren't enough. My goal now is to examine areas in my life and determine if I am traveling in a direction that will allow me to reach my destination. I know the journey is important, but how sad it would be if year upon year I had spent time on a path that led me away from my desired destination. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert traveling around in circles. My prayer is that I will identify the areas in my life in which I am traveling in the wrong direction, find the nearest exit, and take the actions necessary to make an immediate U-turn.

Steppin' Out

I'm steppin' on out into the world of bloggin'. I'm excited to meet new folks and hopefully share interestin' stories. Hallelujers I'm here!